Pamper the hiney for your trip to the gyney


Cold room. Flimsy gown. Walls the colour of baby vomit.

Not exactly the setting for a romantic evening, yet we break out the bedazzler and body glitter for a trip to the OB/GYN.  More effort goes in than if it were a first date.

Ladies?  Am I alone in this?

Also, I once blogged that my vagina had Alzheimer’s.

Sorry fellas.





PS: I once said that I felt I missed out on having a baby shower because of how young I was when the babe came to be.

Now that there’s no womb at the inn anymore, I’m thinking of having a hysterectomy party.  Lady in red, yo.  You in?

There is a person out there for everyone. Your person may happen to be 5 cats

Embrace your inner crazy cat lady.  This girl (two thumbs pointing back) loves her cat.  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.  I’m going to make a house full of cats very happy one day.

Check all that apply:



Will die alone with 72 cats ✔

Spinsters, forever alone, crazy cat lady memes seem to be dominating the internet.  At least my feeds.  I love them, and think they are hilarious.  However today, I’m going to dispel the notion that being a cat lady is a bad thing.

10 reasons why having a cat is better than a boyfriend:

  1. It is socially acceptable to ‘fix’ your cat.
  2. You can have 2 cats at once and tell your parents about it.
  3. Cats have impeccable hygiene
  4. Cats don’t leave the toilet seat up
  5. Cats don’t cheat
  6. Cat’s don’t care if you put on weight
  7. Cats will eat out of a can their entire life and not complain about it
  8. Cats will listen to your problems without trying to fix them
  9. Cats rarely go bald with age
  10. Cats don’t come with in-laws

To be fair, I’m not picking on men.  I love dating 2 at a time balding, non-hygienic, fat hating, toilet seat neglecting, cheating problem solvers, and their families are aces.




Cancer can go get flocked

June 7, 2014 I’ll be lacing up my kicks and footing a 20KM path with 1000′s of other like-minded Manitobans with a common goal.  Dolla dolla bills for Cancer research.

Fundraising minimum is $1000.  My lofty goal is $5000.  My HOLY SHIT BATMAN goal (I really, really want to hit it) is $10,000 but I can’t do it alone.  I’ll walk the 20 kilometers solo, but I’m piggy backing on your wallets to get me there.

To make it fun, I’m giving you an opportunity to tell cancer to #GetFlocked.  Nod to my Transcona lifestyle, of course.  Migrating flamingos are at your disposal.

Attached is a #GetFlocked order form, and an explanation to what we are about.  I will be accepting pre-orders so I can plan the Calendar (flockings commencing in April, weather permitted) and to gauge outside interest.

I will collect payment closer to the date, in case the idea tanks hard.  Alternatively, if you’d like to make a donation to my walk you can follow and share the link here

On Twitter?  Follow me and use the hashtag #GetFlocked.

Any other ideas to raise money?  I’m open to suggestions, and would love your feedback.  Thank you!

You’ve been flocked! Flock a friend

Flocking insurance available for $15 which will protect you from any unwanted invasion.

You aarrrrr wonderful

pirate-valentine-card-front-1024x720Sorry. Watched Pirates of the Caribbean last night. Still thinking about that booty. And it ties in with Valentine’s Day. WITH ALL THE WRETCHED BEAUTIFUL PUNS.

It’s weird.  I mean.  To celebrate all things VD?  Eww.  But since I can’t even get my act together and take down my Christmas tree, this just happened.

VD tree

My home slice ShelleyACook is taking back the day in all it’s cutesy glory.  I’m so in.  Want an old school card sent via snail mail?  I’m your woman.


See these?  I’ve started addressing envelopes.  If you want one, fire me an email at with your mailing address.  Or send me a text, or DM on FB.  You’re going to love it.

Remember, I choo-choo-choose you.




An open letter to Tom Brodbeck

UPDATE: free press touches upon the arrest.

UPDATE 2: Winnipeg Sun finally runs story

UPDATE 3: The Metro chimes in

Dear Mr. Brodbeck,

Tougher laws advocate charged with impaired driving.

There’s a headline for you.  And one you won’t find anywhere.  Curious, isn’t it?

Back in October of this year, you were arrested for impaired driving, and this month plead guilty to the charges but not a word was written by you, the sun or any other media outlet in the province.  The silence is deafening.  It speaks louder than your advocacy and makes me wonder about the transparency of the media.

Excuse me a moment as I step up on the soap box you’ve quickly vacated.  For years I’ve read your columns, and applauded your pit bull like tenacity to never give up.

The courts also have this nasty habit of handing out something called a “curative discharge.” That’s where the court discharges the drunk driver in exchange for the offender’s promise to seek treatment and to abstain from alcohol.”

Great words.  Recognize them?  They’re yours.  So I ask you, Tom.  Now that you have been on the receiving end of the lax penalties you rail so hard against what are your thoughts?

Nothing will change until our elected officials start bringing in some hefty penalties for impaired driving, especially when injury and death occur.

Because right now, it’s a joke.”

What penalty did you incur?  Is it one you agree fits the offence, or would you publically scoff at how you were glad handed and sent away with a gentle tap on the bottom, and a shame on you?

Here’s what I’d like to see.  A public apology, a generous donation made to MADD and you to serve a volunteer sentence that is in line with what you once preached to be fair and adequate and just.

You’re in a unique position, Mr. Brodbeck.  One where you can literally become the change you so desperately claim to seek.  What better way to lead, than by example?  Perhaps you can earn back a shred of dignity and honor that you once had.

For the kicker?  Once your sentence is served, I’d like you to present the presiding judge an eight ball award.

I’ve heard of the blue code of silence, but this solidarity of silence amongst your peers is disheartening, and I hope you see that it won’t go away, if for no other reason than I will refuse to drop it.

The (eight) ball is back in your court, as is your soapbox.  I hope you do the right thing, sir.



Spread a little Christmas Cheer

As some of you may have read, a family lost all their gifts in a fire earlier this week.  They have a 10-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son.  Here’s the story

We’ve decided to pitch in and help this family give their children the Christmas they had hoped for.  I’ve been collecting donations to go shopping, and others have expressed interest in purchasing items themselves.  Below is the list of goods that were destroyed.  If you’d like to help with a donation, you can email transfer money to (contact me with password), if by chance we exceed the amount needed, I will donate the surplus to Winnipeg Harvest.

If you decide to buy an item of the list, please let me know so I can remove it.

I’m currently trying to find a centrally located drop off place (if you can help, let me know!) otherwise I will spend Sunday the 15th doing pick ups throughout the city, so we can coordinate then.

Please share this with anyone you think may want to help.  Thank you so much!

Items will be checked off as they are purchased.

Daughter, aged 10:

Nintendo DS games:
Mario vs. Donkey Kong✔️
Phineas & Ferb Quest for Cool Stuff
Sled ✔️
2 wheeled scooter (tall, not for little kid)
Monster University on Blu Ray
Monster High Scaris Cafe Set ✔️
Monster High Dolls: (She does not have the following)
Gigi Grant, Skelita Calaveras,✔️ Twyla, Catty Noir, ✔️Deuse Gorgan, Nefera, Lagoona Blue, ✔️Cleo de Nile, Jenifer Longe
Her favourite candy is Jolly Ranchers
She wears size 12/14 girls
Son, aged 6:
Crayola Dry Erase board ✔️
Crayola Dry Erase Markers ✔️
Hot Wheels road track that mounts to the wall ✔️
Basic Hot Wheels cars ✔️
Lego Marvel Superheros DS ✔️
Sled ✔️
Planes Movie on Blu Ray ✔️
Playskool Heros Star Wars Jedi Force Figures 2 pack: all characters.  He has none of these already. ✔️
Playskool Heros Star Wars Jedi Force Figures Speeders ✔️
Clothes: He loves T-shirts Anything with Star Wars, Ninjago, Avengers or Batman.  He is about a size 7/8 or Small in boys.
His favourite candy is Smarties. ✔️
All right Winnipeg.  I know you have a generous spirit.  Lets DO this! (I will also pick up a card and sign the name of all involved.  If you’d like to include one with your own gift, please feel free to do so as well)

12 months of giving

Staring down the barrel of the holiday season, and starting to think about the dreaded/expected/annual resolutions for self betterment.  Weight loss.  More family time. Healthy eating.  Saving money.  Investing.  Gym membership.

I’ve pre-decided not to focus on any of those things, though I hope through the spirit of giving, a general sense of well-being naturally follows.

Planning events, volunteering and throwing myself into a cause I believe in has always been a way to self soothe.  I thoroughly enjoy getting involved in a cause and the sense of community that follows.

So here’s what I’d like to do next year.  12 months of giving.

Each month I’d like to support a different cause, in a variety of different ways.  From event planning, to volunteering to coordinating pick up/drop off of specified items.  And I hope you’ll maybe get involved in your own way too!

I don’t have all months mapped out just yet, and am of course looking for people to join me, sponsor, and give ideas of causes and charities that may need our help.

January and February are going to be tough for me, mainly because at some point in that time, I’m going to be laid up for about 6 weeks, making mobility nearly impossible.  Suggestions?



March: I think power of movement  will be the cause of the month.  Lead locally by the beautiful Andrea Robin in support of Arthritis research.  I volunteered day of last year, and had a blast.  I’m in again this year!





August: School supply drive.  Crayons, pens, paper, binders, backpacks to help families who can’t quite make ends meet.  See pens on sale in March?  Get on that!



November: Movember.  Chocolate moustaches again.  Will start taking pre-orders in October.  $500 is my conservative goal.  $1000 is my ultimate.

December: Hamper delivery, maybe help the people at Keep Warm Winnipeg collect socks and warm outer wear.  Have a year to figure this one out.

I’d like to collect baby food and formula for Winnipeg Harvest, pet food for non-kill shelters, items for Osborne house and the list goes on.

If you’d like to help, follow the journey or contribute ideas, I am ALL EARS.

Happy holidays to you all and I hope to hear from you!