Tag Archives: vegetarian

Got Milf?

Posted on April 29, 2013 | 4 Comments

Last week some time as I was minding my own damn business scrolling through my twitter timeline, a tweet jumped out and screamed for attention.

milf

The Milf Diet.

That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, I thought.  A quick google confirmed my original diagnosis.  Absurd.  I immediately went to Coles in Kildonan Place and snatched a copy; declaring May ‘Milf Month’.

What is a Milf?  The term MILF means (to keep it clean) a mother with whom I’d like to fornicate.

According to Jessica Porter, these days MILF has become quite the compliment!  That;s because unlike other sexy terms that stay connected to a brothel floor, MILF has dusted itself off and sashayed into the nearest health food store.  It’s magical.

We are the Madonnas of a certain Madonna/whore complex us Mothers.  We are.  Rush off to the PTA and then come and fuck the DILF (get into this later) while wearing aprons and pearls with the most DELISH vegan chili simmering on the stove.

Essentially, it’s a glorified vegan diet (oh, god.  no meat or cheese) with a whole shit load of insanely ridiculous advice.

I’ve been given a list of Milfy foods to start my Milfification process (D-Day May 1).  My pantry is stocked to the tits with black beans, white kidney beans, red kidney beans, black-eyed peas, chick peas, brown rice, Quinoa, rolled oats, spelt, barley and millet.

I’ve got brown rice vinegar, brown rice syrup, brown rice rice krispies.  Gluten and dairy free chocolate chips.  Leafy greens, bright reds and oranges, almond milk (in 3 delicious flavours) and a pocket full of optimism.

I’ve got Daiya ‘cheese’, firm tofu, non-dairy spreads, pure fruit spreads, hemp seeds and natural peanut butter.

This is the no-fun diet if I’ve ever seen one.

With my transition from frumpy fat ass to MILF I can expect to:

  • lose weight
  • feel lighter inside my body
  • have more energy
  • feel happier and calmer
  • have better skin
  • experience a cooler temperature inside my body (what?)

I will also be treated to:

  • Easier bowel movements.  In fact, without meet, my poops should get lighter in colour and even float!
  • Additional mental and physical flexibility
  • I will become more sensitive to energy and vibrations
  • I will become softer and MILFIER

The detox portion, you know, when your carnivorous, cheese eating inner goddess realises what you’re doing and freaks the fuck out I can expect to delight in a cocktail of the following:

  • headaches
  • nausea
  • depression
  • fatigue
  • diarrhea AND constipation (double fun)
  • weird body odors (like, what the tap dancing BJ?)
  • phlegm
  • aches and pains
  • strange dreams
  • irritability and any other number of funky things

So like, I totally can’t wait.

And for shits and giggles, I’m also going to keep this diet within the parameters of the Weight Watchers points program.  Because WHO DOESN’T LOVE A CHALLENGE?

There are so many other hidden gems in this book I can barely stand it.  Will post updates or follow along on twitter using #MilfDietWpg.

I’m so having the biggest, juiciest, rarest steak on April 30th and June 1st.  Like, still mooing rare.

What’s the craziest diet trend you’ve followed?  Want some recipes?  Are you a MILF?  Do you want to work on your MILFYNESS with me?  We can bosom buddy up!

Wish me luck and Cheers!

Lisa

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Posted in Chipped Nail Polish (health + beauty), Lisa, The Messy Kitchen (cooking)

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Curried Carrot Soup

Posted on January 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

An easy, have most ingredients on hand type recipe. Great for clean eating, and can be vegan depending on the type of broth you use.

The flavours are amazing together, and it makes a great launching point to add chicken or other veggies for a more hearty meal.

Ingredients:

1 3/4 c. broth (chicken or veg)

3 carrots, peeled and chopped small

1 onion, chopped (time and tear saver – M&M meats sells frozen diced onion. A staple in my home!)

1.5 tsp curry powder (I use medium)

1 tsp fresh minced ginger (can use ginger powder in a pinch)

1 can of coconut milk

Directions:

Simmer carrots, onions, ginger and curry in broth until soft (option – can sautée vegetables in butter or oil first). Cool slightly

Puree in blender or food processor. May need to puree in batches.

Return to stock pot and add coconut milk

Season with sea salt and pepper. Can also add a pinch of sugar if desired.

Enjoy!

Lisa

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Posted in Lisa, The Messy Kitchen (cooking)

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My Food, My Choice (+ the Mint Pea Soup)

Posted on August 21, 2012 | 4 Comments

I am not sure why some people feel the need to comment on the way other people eat, their habits, their choices.  I have a difficult time being open about certain things, basic things in my life.  We all do.  My most feared issue to talk about is food.  As we get older, we know more.  We become more informed on good nutrition, real food.  Sometimes eating better is a necessity, rather than the chase for a hotter bod.

A few months ago, I gave up all meat, except fish.  I am certainly not practicing a vegan diet. I do not classify myself as a vegetarian or even more closely tied to my eating habits.. a pescatarian.  I don’t want a label, because who the hell knows what I will be doing a year from now?  I don’t want to say I’m “A”, then months down the road I’m now “B”.  Sort of flakey.. wouldn’t you agree? This all plays into my theory, labels belong in stores and not on people

My reasons for giving up almost all meats were fairly simple.  I had wanted to reduce my meat consumption for a while.  I didn’t plan on ditching it all together.  Then, out of nowhere – I started to experience fairly bad digestive issues.  This is so weird to publicly admit, but its part of my decision on this.  My issues with the tummy have always come and gone, but it got intense.  Like, missing work intense.  I don’t have time for that.  Who does?  I figured, “no more meat” would be an easy way to rest my internal system.  No more hormone-injected animals going through my body.  This would be a way to eat cleaner. This way, if I had issues that arose with digestion, I wouldn’t have to worry about such a solid, heavy substance passing through my system.

My next reason, and one that is equally as important as the first, the thought of a living, breathing animal’s life being sacrified for me is tough for me to accept. I just couldn’t do it.  Maybe it’s a phase, certainly one I’ve gone through before.

So, what made me take the plunge when I did?  It was the faint thoughts of point one and two above, tied (strongly) with the conversation with a total stranger. I woke up and ate a Bacon n’ Egger from A & W and went to bed vowing to take a long break chicken, pork and beef.

Let me continue with the story.  I went for a pedicure and the esthetician I was with started talking about her experience about 9 months ago where she also started the same diet as I (was about to).  Hearing her talk, how she explained her “meatless-meals”, it made me realize that I could certainly reduce my meat in-take.  What I didn’t realize was that I would give it up more than just reducing.  Now, over 4 months in – I still have no desire to consume chicken, beef or pork.  Maybe I will one day, but now, I do not.

I feel.. not much different.  I weigh the same.  I look the same.  I am the same.  The only change that’s really noticeable, when I have an issue with digestion it’s not as rough.

Explaining all of this, to you is big for me.  I understand lots of people are living life sans meat, but without a doubt I can guarantee the majority of these people (myself included) have experienced unwanted reactions.  This surprises me.

I hear comments like, “Oh, is this your latest thing?” or, “Good, more steak for me.” or, “That’s weird”.  Let it be known, I don’t parade around and shout my personal preference or better yet, ask for someone’s opinion.  I also don’t judge anyone for eating meat, that is their choice.  Furthermore, I believe I have the right to go about my food choices without someone feeling the need to beak up and let me know that my eating habits are wrong because it’s not what they do?

So, to show you  I, just like you, eat deliciously, I have posted a recipe I used from epicurious.com.

See – my food is just as good as your meaty-food (arguable, even better).

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Posted in Amanda, The Messy Kitchen (cooking)

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African Yam Peanut Soup

Posted on August 9, 2012 | Leave a comment

Staying above the belt, as promised today.  I’ve been making this for a few years now and the origin of the recipe is lost to me.  I believe it came from a Rebar cookbook once upon a time.

This soup is an amazing fall dish, is a delight for many of your senses.  With just a little heat, this exotic soup pairs beautifully with many other dishes for a larger meal, or stands out all on its own.  An immersion blender will be beneficial.

Ingredients:

  • 8 cups vegetable stock (Use boxed, make your own or stay tuned below for a roasted vegetable stock recipe below.  Time consuming but adds depth to the flavour)
  • 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 lg yellow onion diced
  • salt
  • 6 Tbsp minced fresh ginger
  • 4 large garlic cloves minced
  • 1 Tbsp ground cumin
  • 2 Tbsp ground coriander
  • 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
  • 4 medium yams, roughly chopped
  • 1 – 14 oz can of pineapple, juice and all.
  • 3 ripe tomatoes, chopped
  • 5 Tbsp natural peanut butter
  • 1 bunch fresh cilantro (optional but recommended)
  • fresh squeezed lime juice (optional but recommended)
  • Hot sauce to taste (optional but recommended.  Use Sriracha. You won’t be disappointed)

Directions:

  1. Heat Stock in separate pot
  2. In a large stock pot, heat oil.  Saute onions with a pinch of salt; stirring occasionally about 10 minutes.  Add garlic, ginger and spices sauteing until everything is soft.
  3. Stir in red peppers and yams.  Cook until they start to stick to the bottom of the pot.
  4. Add stock.  Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer.  Cover and simmer until yams are tender.
  5. Add pineapple with juice, peanut butter and tomatoes.  Simmer for 30 minutes.
  6. Puree soup.
  7. Season to taste with more salt, cilantro, lime juice and hot sauce.

The finished dish

Now, if you’ve got some extra time on your hands.  Here’s a rough recipe for roasted vegetable stock.  Bonus part was I used 100% grown in Manitoba veggies for this.  The best part about making broth is its according to taste and what you have on hand.  Add and omit as you see fit.

Fresh from the market, these vegetables are BEGGING to be put to good use. And good use it was. ImperfectlyBalanced stamp coming later.
Made in MB.

Ingredients:

  • 1 pound celery.  cut into chunks.  reserve leaves and put aside.
  • 1.5 lbs sweet onions (about 2.5 onions), cut into wedges
  • 1 lbs carrots, cut into chunks
  • 1 lbs green pepper, seeded and cut into 1″ pieces (about 3 peppers)
  • 1/2 lbs parsnips
  • 1 lbs tomatoes; cored (about 3 tomatoes)
  • 3 cloves garlic, whole
  • 2 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1 bay leaf
  • whole peppercorns (according to taste – 6?)
  • 1 bunch fresh italian parsley chopped
  • 4 Litres water

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 450ºC.
  2. Toss onions, carrots, peppers, parsnips, and tomatoes with olive oil. Place vegetables in a shallow roasting pan and place them in the oven.  Stir every 15 minutes until all vegetables are brown in colour and the onions have started to caramelize.  It took me between 1:15 and 1:30.
  3. Put the browned vegetables, celery, bay leaf, peppercorns and parsley into a large stock pot and add water.  Bring to a full boil then reduce to a simmer.  Allow the liquid to reduce by half for full flavour benefits.
  4. Pour the broth through a colander, catching the broth in a large pot (see above, and you’re ready to add to your soup).  Freezes really well, if you don’t need to use it right away.

So there you have it.  A sneak peek into my chaotic kitchen.  I am most assuredly a kitchen disaster.  I like to add flair to my dishes and fun to the environment.  Some of my more well-loved kitchen tools have names, and I have a variety of aprons, tiaras and cooking music to make it more whimsical.  Love what you do, or don’t do it at all.

So, are you going to try this?  I’m thinking you could easily use a chicken broth and add chicken to the soup for a more filling meal.  As is, it’s vegan friendly.

Enjoy, darlings.

Cheers for now,

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Posted in Lisa, The Messy Kitchen (cooking)

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